Friday, May 23, 2008

The Spears Solution

I'm not going to talk about the fact that my heater is still coming on even though IT'S DAYS AWAY FROM JUNE! Chicago has decided to skip summer this year and set some sort of ridiculous record to see how many grown people it can make cry in a year by having the winter that wouldn't die.

To distract myself I've been talking to my sister a lot and all of a sudden she's got a really odd take on how to handle things. To be fair, she's usually drunk when I talk to her (yay maternal genes!) but every time I've discussed some issue with her she has one specific remedy:

Example 1
A: James likes to knead my back at 4am 'til I wake up and play with him.
B: You know what you should do? Shave his head.
A: Uh...
B: That'll teach him because he'll be all, 'Hey I shouldn't wake Amy up because now my head is shaved.'
A: I don't think he'll really think th-
B: Do it. You'll thank me.

Example 2 (10 minutes later)
A: So, then Mom said she thought it was 'groovy'. Groovy? Are you kidding me? Where's my mother?
B: What?! You know what you should do? Shave part of her head when she's not looking. That'll teach her to say 'groovy'.
A: What?


This actually went on for quite some time and for no apparent reason. She wasn't even giggling about it which was the weird part. Thank god she doesn't own clippers.

3 comments:

Tiana said...

Yay!! The blog is back!! The title of this cracks me up. As does imagining James with a furry body and paws and a naked head. In fact, I agree with Becky...you should totally do it just to make me laugh! :)

McGee said...

It seems that there is something wrong with the universe, at least in Chi-town. The weather seems to be twarting you. Doesn't the universe know not to mess with my cuz? It's gonna be sorry.

Carrie said...

I wish you would have told me this earlier. I could have avoided the awkward/frightening night when I woke up to find Becky standing over my bed with clippers in her hand and a crazy-mad-scientist look in her eye. Or it might have just been a drunk look.

In any event, it wasn't the way I had imagined it would be to have a Stern girl in my bedroom.