Just Creeping On The Down Low

So I - like the total creep I am - read a lot of Mommy blogs. Like, they're the first thing I check in the morning. So I - like a creep - totally know all about these strangers' kids, how old they are, what their names are, when they started walking, and so on. So much so that a year or so ago, I somehow brought it up with a girl I went to school with and she was all, "Oh my god I read them too! Did you hear blah blah had her baby?!" and I was all, "YES. She's soooo cute! Almost as cute as her son." and we chatted on like this for a while, talking about these women as if they were our friends, dodging weird looks from the guy we went to school with because he had noticed we were talking about people that were almost fictional to us. But worse. Because they're not fictional - it's not like I have some weird fan obsession with Bella and Edward and their world - it's an obsession about real people.

Cue police escort out of the building.

Anyway, I checked one this morning I haven't seen in a while and was shocked to find the baby is not really a baby anymore. She's walking and has hair and I was stunned. Like, I assume people freeze in time when I'm not reading about their personal life? Actually, yes. That is what I assume. The fact that life keeps happening when I'm not checking up on it is almost mind-boggling. And completely self-absorbed, I know, but still - shocking. Like, there's this kid I knew in first grade who broke his leg, and I haven't seen him since, and for some reason when I picture running into him I picture me as a thirty year old, talking to Casey Waters the six year old - asking him what's going on with his life, how's recess, did he get chocolate or plain milk for snack, you know, the ushe.

And I feel even more like a creep because I know if I ever ran into one of these women I read, or their kids, I would be all, "Oh my gosh! Hi Heather! Leta and Marlo are so cute! Hi Marlo, I know you love cheerios, why don't you come into my van and I'll give you all the cereal you want. Start the van Donny, START THE VAN, I'VE GOT THE KID!"

Just kidding. I don't know anyone named Donny.

Anyway, the whole point is, I should probably leave my house more and talk to real people so that one day I don't stumble out of the yard looking around me like - Where did all these flying cars come from? What's this facebook thing the kids are all talking about? Michael Jackson died when???

And I will. I will leave the house.

Right after I check up on some blogs. Like a creep.