Seriously puppy, what the h!?
After I scolded her and told her that sort of behavior is just a step before ending up on Dateline's To Catch a Predator - "Why do you have condoms in your car little tiny dog?" - "Uhh, those aren't mine." - "Why do they have your initials on them, and why are they numbered?" - "Oh I like to know how many I use - I mean . . . shoot! I'm outta here!" - After that I jumped in the shower, and completely forgot about the whole underwear incident.
Until I got out AND SHE HAD THEM AGAIN.
I'm not sure how she got them, because I put them on top of my sister's bookshelf (you're welcome Becky) and this puppy is seriously like three pounds and as long as a football. But somehow that little sucker had managed to get them again and was now wearing them over her head like some sort of creepy, perv babushka.
I don't know what's going on, but I locked all my underwear in the bedroom, so if I come home and that puppy has my underwear again I will be a) impressed; and b) will have to ultimately come to the conclusion that my underwear tastes like Skittles.
THAT'S THE ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION.