Licking Things

I haven't written in a while because I cut my hair and got really sick.

Not in that order, I got sick, and somewhere in the fever-induced delirium I cut my hair off, and didn't cry. Because I'm growing. Or because I was too sick to do anything but fall asleep as she hacked off my pony tail, but still - Progress!

I'm still sick (mono?) but I'm well enough now to leave bed and do things like, brush my teeth, and smile, so that's fun. James is not the biggest fan of me spending all day in bed, I think it's kind of freaked him out because he'll coming screaming through the house to my room, at the top of his little kitty lungs, like he's lost me - every single day - and has to go shouting for me through the corridors until he finds I've been hiding away in the North wing with the Duchess.

I hear it starting sort of softly, like a distant siren, and then it gets louder and louder as he approaches the bedroom, stops - looks up at me - and continues yelling. As if the louder, and the longer he does it the more likely it is I'll be able to understand him. Once he finds me he's thrilled for a second, and then rolls around and immediately falls asleep - presumably because the effort of locating me several times a day for weeks on end is just too exhausting for him.

Anyway, he's being a little weird. And then today after his screaming routine he found me at my desk, dusting off my laptop, and fell asleep on top of my toast. I made some new toast and then came back and got to work, and I must have been really into it because I didn't pay attention to when he woke up or what he was doing, because when I looked up the little sucker was carefully, and very sneakily licking my colored pencils.

Licking them like they were kitten lollipops I left out as a special treat for him. He was purring, he was so happy with his tasty find, and when I looked at him with disgust and a split second "Hmm, I wonder if that is good," he looked at me from the corner of his eye and was like:

"What?"

"They're pencils, and they're wood-y."

"James, what are you doing?"

"What?"

"What are you doing?"

"Licking pencils."

"Why? What are you doing?"

"I don't think that's good for you."

"Are you sure?"

And that went on for a while, where he'd lick, I'd ask him something, he'd stop to yell, lick, yell, lick - until that wore him out and he started the weirdest stretching routine directed right at me, and done right on top of my laptop so I would extra notice him.

After the last lick he shut his eyes really slowly at me, and then opened them, like he was trying to be sexy, then started what I can only describe as yoga.

Some sort of weird sun salute.

Then directly into....

Downward dog.

Then he flipped over and, hanging off the desk like a bat, he fell asleep because he apparently just got way too tired after his four seconds of stretching to make it anywhere else but dangling precariously off a ledge for his nap time.

I'm afraid he might have narcolepsy.

(**James is not a calico cat, he's black and white, but my black and white drawings weren't as cute as the eye patch-y one so, there you go.**)