I Wanna Borrow An Allen Wrench!

As a precursor to Vegas, we decided to attend a friend’s wedding. A little prep for our blood alcohol levels and stamina because we knew there’d be an open bar, not to mention a near empty dance floor for us to practice our mooooooooooooves.

That and we also went because I absolutely love this woman:



Look at her. Not only is she gorgeous, and smart, but she’s f-ing hilarious. We met working at Starbucks (a job we both knew we’d be quitting a few months later, and so we ran amok of that store. Amok I tell you! We underage drank with the managers, refused to take out the trash on some sort of principle she came up with like “But we’re girls!”, didn’t do the dishes but instead left signs saying, “Bless this mess!”, and frequently called and requested to close early due to low customer visits, which was never true.) and the first thing I remember her saying to me was “MACE IN YO FACE!” to which I replied “Oh my god I love you!” and she said, “You’re my new BFF!” and the rest is friendship motherfucking history.

Although we go months at a time without seeing each other the second I get on the phone with her it’s like we’re sneaking cigarettes at her aunt’s house all over again, and I start giggling before anything has been said. It pretty much goes:

Me: Hello?
Jess: Hiiiiiiii Amy!
Me: *gasp* Jess??
Jess: **laughing**
Me: **laughing**
Jess: **laughing**
Me: **laughing**
Jess: **laughing-and-trying-to-say-something-in-a-pitch-so-high-no-one-really-knows-what-she’s-saying**
Me: **laughing-harder** What???

Then my sister starts yelling in the background, “You’re not breathing. Are you talking to Jess?”

We had a really great time, danced a whole lot with the fathers of the bride and groom, ate too much, drank a little (Becky drank a lot thanks to Jim’s urging, “You should make that a double”) and were in bed before 10:30. Naturally. Who stays up past 10:30?

I wish them all the best and happiness and all of that!!!


Oh, and their present is in the mail. I swear.