Reason number 7 why I probably won't be mistaken for the gay one this week:
The puddle of drool around me that appears whenever I watch 17 Again and Zac Efron is shirtless. Or shirt-clad. Doesn't matter really, I know what's under there.
Reason why I will probably have to stay 500 yards away from elementary schools, and go around and introduce myself to all my neighbors as a creepy pervert:
See above.
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