Saving Money

So I went to Target today with the understanding that I was NOT going to be spending my money frivolously on things like t-shirts with shiny gold tigers on them, or wicker baskets in four different sizes that I don't know what to do with and so they'll just sit on my bedroom floor for half a year until one day when I accidentally trip on the arm hole of my shiny gold tiger t-shirt laying on the floor and direct my fall into the wicker baskets for cushion, thus crushing them into oblivion, and actually making the fall a whole lot more painful than if I had just fallen into the carpet like a normal person.

And I was doing so good, "Cat food. You're only here for cat food." I'd say to myself after stopping in the kitchen section, which is far away from the wicker baskets, but unfortunately contains things I want to buy like cupcake shaped cupcake pans (which is so amazingly ridiculous - cupcakes don't need to have the tops resemble a 2-D cupcakes - that's like pickles having an imprint of a pickle on them)(oh my god I would totally buy pickles with a pickle stamp on them!), and I kept saying no to things like this, which I always add up in my head like:

"Ok, that cupcake pan was $17.99 so added to the other things I haven't bought, that's like $156.99 - Ooooh but that purple spatula is so rubbery. . . no! I don't want that either! Ok, so cupcake pan $17.99, purple awesomely rubbery spatula $9.99, that's $166.98 that I'VE SAVED TODAY! I am such an amazing saver."

And that's how I ended up with $30 worth of lip gloss.

Because in my head-logic not buying things means I've saved hundreds of dollars which means, hey, I can spend $10 on lip gloss. I deserve lip gloss after all that frugal shopping I just did, even though all I really needed to do was come in and spend $7 on cat food in the first place.

Plus buying lip gloss is so confusing and enthralling at the same time because they all look so pretty and shiny, but you have no idea what they're going to actually look like on your lips, and nine times out of ten I end up buying the one that makes me look like I just caught the flu during a bout of hypothermia. Unless you're one of those people that tries lip glosses on in the store in which case, you probably just got AIDS. Enjoy.

So, I only picked up on lip gloss and was going to leave but then I saw it had tingling, plumping action in it. I'm sorry, what? Tingling plumping? If I wanted my lips to tingle I'd be handing out blow jobs at the Pier to toothless men with the prefix 'Little' or 'Big' followed by just an initial or an adjective as their name. Seriously, the thought of something I purposely put on my lips that has an action it preforms while it's there that's not prescribed by a doctor freaks me out.

So, I threw the tingling one back and grabbed three others, and walked out of the store spending only 37 dollars more than I thought I would, which is awesome, because that means I really saved like 130 dollars.

Now I just have to figure out what I'm going to spend all that extra money on.