Mother's Day

Sunday was my one day to sleep in and I was so excited about it I purposely stayed up way past my normal 10 o'clock bedtime just so I could sleep in extra long and make it feel TOTALLY awesome!

Ok, fine, I stayed up past my normal 9 o'clock bedtime. I get sleepy early! I'm thirty now! (My sister gets ready to go out to bars at like 9pm and she hasn't even left before I'm all sleepy on the couch, my head bobbing up and down, until my nose dips into my wine glass and I snort myself awake and shake it off, because I want to stay awake to see if the girl says yes to the dress, and James needs to be walked on his kitty leash before bed because otherwise he'll be standing on my butt at 2am meow-ing his head off so that I'll wake up and throw the ball with him (might be a dog), and I'll have to get up in the middle of the night and throw things for him to fetch until I pass out at the edge of my bed clutching my blanket over my head so I can't hear him yell at me anymore, at which point he takes to digging like no one has ever dug before in his litter box, as if he buried some sort of treasure in there and if he doesn't find it, his bookie is gonna be piiiiiiiiissed.)


Anyway, I was sleeping in. And what's the last thing you want to hear at six am on a Sunday when you had planned to sleep in until at least 10am?

Your phone ringing.

And your grandma's voice on the other end asking you to go to Marie Callendar's to get whip cream, and then the Mexican restaurant to get a bag of ice, and the donut shop for coffee filters.

Most people do their shopping at a grocery store but my family shops for their refrigerator goods at various restaurants.

I'm not really even sure why. I think she's sort of convinced things taste better if it's horribly embarrassing to get them. No one refuses an old lady her berries, it doesn't matter that they're a McDonalds, if she wants berries, the woman is getting berries. Also, she things things taste better if they come from a restaurant's kitchen, as if they have some super secret connection to the food world that grocery stores don't have.

"I'm not buying peanut butter from Vons. Anyone can just go to Vons and get peanut butter. I want the good peanut butter."

"You know that when Polly's Diner is giving you peanut butter it's just Skippy? It's actually the same as the ones in the store."

"No it's not."

"It's not?"

"Do you even have taste buds?"

Clearly - no. No I don't.

And really, how can you argue with that? How can you tell your grandma on mother's day that you won't go get her the good ice at the Mexican Restaurant?

You don't. You just wake your sister up and drag her along with you. And when you tell her where you're going and what the plan is, she just shrugs and says fine. Because it's mother's day. And you don't question it, because you want to make all the mother's in the world happy.

Shoot, you'll even stop at Olive Garden to buy some of their flowers on the way over. You know why? Because they're worth it.