Friday, July 30, 2010

It's Like I'm A Pilgrim From The Friggin 20's

Oh Snooki, I missed you!

Rinsing clothes off in a sink that has running water, in a penthouse apartment in Miami built and styled for a group of people who use gangster tagging equipment to paint on tans, and drink something called Ron-Ron juice IS just like being a Pilgrim from the 20's!

What sort of f*&ked up Back to The Future is that?

"Hey John Locke?"

"Yes Jedidiah?"

"I thought we just landed in Massachusetts looking for religious freedom. What is this place???"

"This is the 20's Jed. My flux capacitator must have calculated wrong. I told that nosy little Pocahontas to stay away from the men's work."

"How come those guys have tattoos of Italy on them?"

"Sex appeal?"

"Well, sure."

"Dang. I did not want to end up here. The 20's blew. Roaring my ass."

"There's no roaring?"

"Not for us my friend."

"Oh."

"Well, I guess we better rinse these clothes off in the mettacular sink."

"Thank God we still have some comforts of home."

"You said it Jedidiah."

And then they fist pumped their way through the Depression just like everyone else. The End.


I'm so excited Jersey Shore is back on, I can't stand it! I actually clapped with happiness at my TV last night because IT'S JUST SO AMAZING. It's the only time in my life I get to use words like, JWOW, Snicks, blow-out, and smush and feel totally serious about it.

Why wasn't this show on when I was in college? I would have transferred to New Jersey Community College faster than you can say "I'm putting Vaseline on my face, taking my earrings out, putting my hair up and I'm beating the crap out of her."

(Vaseline? So if she gets a hit in it just slides right off? Seriously. How can you not love that?)




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

She clearly meant the 1620s: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilgrim_(Plymouth_Colony)

amy m. stern said...

Yeah, because that's how everyone refers to 1620's.
"Hey remember the 20s?"
"Oh my gosh, that Russo-Persian War was the WORST wasn't it?"
"No, that's the 1720's."
"Oh right, well, yeah that Russo-Turkish War was kind of a bummer too."
"Nope, nope. That was the 1820's."
"Oh. . ."
". . . "
"Well shit, we need a better system."