"Excuse me, can you direct me to the Beyond?"
I mean, seriously - Beyond? What the hell does that mean. "Over here we've got bath mats, soap pumps, and then blankets, different sorts of pillows, and then right back there we've got Space jets, moon rocks, and your grandma who died in 1989."
How awesome would a store be that had all your favorite dead people in it?
"Where you going?"
"Bed Bath and Beyond in Boise. I hear that's where Chris Farley is."
"Really? My Aunt Millie said she saw him at the one in Tacoma."
"Seriously? Shit. You just can't trust the dead anymore."
"They're stuck in a home goods store. What else are they supposed to do but fuck with us?"
Ok, so maybe it wouldn't be so awesome. Maybe it would just be scary and a little sad.
Anyway, I didn't sleep well last night. Not sure if you can tell. James has taken to walking across my face ten times a night, which for some reason triggers my bladder, and so I end up peeing all night like a 73 year old man with prostate problems. I'm not even sure how my bladder refills itself so fast - but when I go at 2am, 3am, 4am, etc, it's always like I'm going for the first time in two days.
Well, I'm either going to go take a nap (even though it's only nine thirty in the morning) or drive by some stores and see if I can't harass the personnel. I'll be honest, both sound equally as fun right now. Apparently sleep deprivation turns me into a High Schooler.
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