Doesn't that seem like it was about two years ago? It does to me. She was the most pregnant woman in the world FOREVER. I think she was actually showing the day she conceived. That's how pregnant she was.
Anyway, from the time she told me she was pregnant, until the time she actually gave birth (vaginally AND C -Section) (because she just haaaaad to do it all. Show off) - I felt like it was the amount of time it took me to get through Jr. High. I grew some boobs. My hair got a little longer. I had like seventeen crushes on boys that were inappropriately aged for me, and I avoided joining a latina girl gang even though a huge part of me really wanted to get jumped in.
Thank god I was too scared of my mom, and life in general to actually do anything like join a gang that back then. Can you imagine what I would have looked like at six foot, fourteen years old, trying to look like a tough Mexican?
I can.
And of course, in case you can't figure out what's going on here:
What was I saying?
Oh yeah! So it took a long nine months but she had her baby!!!! All those funnel cakes paid off, because Eleanor Judith Jane was so chubby and cute and ridiculously adorable when she was born! At nine pounds and seven hundred ounces she couldn't manage to fit her little self all the way through her mom's . . . canal. She was like, "I'm just so cozy and squishy. Why don't you get another ice cream cone and we'll discuss it?"
And Jess was like, "Uh, I don't think so missy. You're coming out."
And then she did!
Hi HONEY!
Look at all that hair! I'm not sure why no one is chewing on her little cheeks right now, but god damn is she cute. And I am so happy and excited for her parents, because they are amazing, and I know they're just going to rock the shit out of parenting.
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