Ten Years. I Don't Want To Talk About It.

The new girl just asked me how long I've been working here, and since she's new, I decided to let her live for asking me such a loaded question.

Plus I was too busy getting over my most recent encounter with the Sparkletts water guy.

It wasn't bad when he dropped all of his water bottles and ignored them as they rolled down the hallway. "Uhm," I pointed hoping he'd run after them, "Your water bottles are about to crash through that glass door." "Huh - aw don't worry about them. How was Ireland?" (whisper)How did he know I went to Ireland? Help. Someone heeeeeelp.

It wasn't even bad when he proceeded to tell me we should sit down and catch up on my travels. "Have a seat." I looked around confused because we were in an empty hallway of a building currently under construction.

"Where?"
"Where not?"
"I. . . I don't really know what that even means."

And it wasn't even that bad when I turned away from him and walked into the bathroom. You know, that is until he FOLLOWED ME IN.
Naturally I shrunk to the floor. "This is the women's bathroom," I said. Be cool. Stay cool.
"Do you know how many germs are on that floor?" he took a step in further and the door shut behind him.
"Heeeeelp." Not being as cool as planned.
"Sure I'll help you, you really shouldn't be sitting on the bathroom floor though, I'm not kidding." He helped me up, chuckled and walked out. After I was sure he was out of earshot I yelled, "AND STAY OUT!" just to make myself feel better.

When I got back to my desk there was a water bottle in the shape of a mini water cooler - like a personal size one - with a bow on it. A poisoned bow, I guessed. Until my mom pointed out the water was more likely to be poisoned than the bow.
"You can't apply logic to this situation Mom."
"Ok. But I'm not giving you a ride to the hospital when you eat that bow just to prove me wrong."
"Like I would ever. . . don't be crazy."
". . . "
"How do you always know what I'm thinking?!"