Saturday, February 06, 2010

200th And Just Getting More And More Embarrassing To My Future Children

So, apparently this is my 200th post! I don't know why I'm mentioning it except that other people do on their blogs, and that 13 year old girl in me who shaved her legs with Suave hair conditioner, because her friends did, is coming out in me.

Come to think of it, the 15 year old girl in me who (fake) smoked pot on the way to school because her friends were, and then spent all of Spanish class (because even though she wasn't stoned, her friends were) trying to convince Sr. Welch he should reenact the scene with her in Grease 2 where Stephanie Zinone and Michael are riding on his bike and she climbs around while they're doing like 95mph, with a desk and two chairs, but he didn't because the bell eventually rang, is coming out in me too. I'm sure in his heart there's nothing he would have loved more than to lose his job because a (fake) stoned 15 year old student wanted to stradle him while singing Cool Rider.

Oh, and the 27 year old girl in me who let some Puerto Rican guy with a belt buckle that spun instructions (classy) pick her up and carry her around (the whole while screaming, "I don't think I like this!") until they got kicked out of the club because her friends wanted her to do it ("I don't care if you like it or not. He's picking you up! Let it happen! For us!"), they were in relationships and she wasn't, and apparently what her coupled friends want to do vicariously through her is be picked up and thrown around a sweaty dance floor while shouting out a request for the DJ to play Tootsie Roll just one more time, is also coming out in me. Not make out, or back it up - that wasn't happening, they just wanted me to be picked up. My friends are weird.

Or the 28 year old girl in me who got her nose pierced on the island because her friends were, well actually her friends weren't but they wanted to and couldn't because of their jobs, so they were all, "You can do it! You don't have a real job!" and so she paid the seventy bucks to get it pierced and then promptly took it out 24 hours later when they left the island and returned to real life - a painful seventy bucks, but a boatload of fun pictures where she looks sort of Indian. And or Indie. She's coming out too.

Hmmm, I'm not really as malleable as this is making me seem (slash feel) right now. I just really like making sure people are having a good time. At my expense. Or my Spanish teacher's job security. (Kidding. I secretly really wanted to do all of those things. Including the time I broke into a stranger's house because my friends wanted to see what it would feel like to kick down a door.) (Just kidding again Mom, that never happened.) (Except it totally did, and I still feel guilty and like any time there's a knock on the door it's the cops coming to arrest me for getting my shoe prints all over a door in 1992.)(I'm pretty sure the door was unlocked and slightly ajar when we "kicked it in".)

Anyway, to celebrate here's a little video that never ever fails to make me happy, and is total and complete proof I don't just do what my friends do, because this - this little gem has threatened to ruin many a friendship, but I would never, ever give this up. Or acknowledge Grease as the better movie. Because it's not. And I would totally get 'Grease 2 Forever' tattooed on my chest!

You know, if my friends said I could.

2 comments:

Carrie said...

No matter what your friends want you to do, don't ever, ever put yourself in the hands of a Puerto Rican. They're shady.

Kevin said...

I love how you just assumed that your Spanish teacher (and, for that matter, everyone in America) has seen Grease 2 and remembers a specific scene/song in the film.

I'll be your boy for all seasons, Amy. All the year through.