Him(as he's ringing up my purchase): Ooh, this sushi looks good.
Me: Thanks. (thanks?)
Him: Did you make it?
Me: No? I just meant, yes. (what?)
Him: Yes?
Me: The sushi looks good. I don't know why I said hanks. (hanks? really Amy?)
Him: Hanks?
Me: Hanks. (what? why can't I say that word??)
Him: Thanks?
Me: Yes.
Him: Automatic reaction to people telling you things look good?
Me: I . . . yes? I love thanks. Giving. Giving thanks. (what the hell is happening to me?)
Him(laughing a little, thank god): I get it. I used to work at Hot Dog on a Stick, took me forever to learn to stop saying "Would you like a lemonade?" to everyone.
Me: Oh my gosh remember Hot Dog on a Stick?
Him: Yes. . . I used to work there?
Me: That was like the highlight of going to the mall! (well apparently I have no control over the words that are coming out of my mouth) That we got to go to Hot Dog on a Stick and get a hot dog on a stick, unless we were feeling adventurous and heart-cloggy, and then we'd get cheese on a stick. Oh my gosh it was so good and I'm not sure why, but no one ever thought to say, "Why the fuck don't they just call it Corn Dog?"
Him: . . .(starts bagging everything up)
Me: Because that's what it is right? It's a corn dog. It's like if I called Pizza Hut, Dough With Sauce and Cheese and Chopped Meats. . . Hut.
Him: (still bagging)
Me: Was it hard to mash that huge vat of lemons into lemonade?
Him: Not really.
Me: Oh . . . (Oh god. Am I still talking? REALLY?)
Him:. . .
Me: . . .
Him: Your total is nineteen forty-five.
Me: Yup.
This is why I have reinstated the Don't Talk To Strangers Until You've Eaten And Stabilized Your Blood Sugar rule. Which, in the handbook, comes right after the Don't Call Old High School Teachers When You're Drunk rule, and before the No, Sharing Razors Is Not A Good Idea rule.
(For those of you who didn't have a Hot Dog on a Stick, its a place in malls that sells corn dogs and lemonade - that's it. They had the worst work outfits but for some reason the cool kids always had jobs there. At least they seemed the coolest.)
They dipped with both hands:
And they smashed lemons into this thing that looks like some sort of construction bucket:
And they offered condiments:
2 comments:
This is precisely why I need to stop reading your blog on my phone. Because I think I'm being all stealth while I'm out in public, pretending to check some important business-like e-mail, and all of a sudden I'm rolling on the floor of the post office, laughing hysterically in front of a bunch of old people. Thankfully old people keep bladder control protection handy.
Also, that last photo must be from the Hot Dog on a Stick in Sexy Town, cuz they don't offer that kind of wiener service at the Del Amo Mall.
hahahahahahahahaha
Post a Comment