I stepped out of the shower this morning and grabbed my towel (and a little towel for James)(so cute! Next I will get him a shower cap!) and after wrapping my little sucker's around his waist, I pressed my face into my towel, and then froze immediately because something did not feel right.
I have these dark brown towels that are large and fluffy and hide any sort of stains (not sure how someone could get stains on bathroom towels? you have obviously never seen me eat a bagel and cream cheese. I swear to God I get cream cheese in places I haven't even seen in 9 years. I'm pretty sure that time I found cream cheese in my bangs in 4th grade was from the other day - my mess can time travel.) but they also hide other things. Horrible little things. Horrible little things I do not see because they are the same color as the towel and then I end up mashing a spider to death INTO MY FACE!
Oh my f-ing god.
There was about a five second delay while I stared into the towel and saw the little legs and half a body and let the realization sink in that the other half of that body, and those other four legs were MASHED ON MY FACE! I turned to look at myself in the mirror, because I was still not ready to believe it, and then the shrieking Psycho horror movie music started, I saw the little legs on my cheek and screamed bloody murder for about ten straight minutes, afraid to actually wipe it off because I was sure it was going to regenerate, become an even larger, more evil spider and then somehow absorb itself into my face, slowly and painfully changing me into a Spider girl, and not a Spiderman-Spider girl, but like an evil-monster Spider girl, who is no longer a girl but is now a spider who eats flies and builds webs to trap humans when the flies get boring.
I got it off once the screaming died down, and am now in deep hate with my towels. The thing is though, I don't even mind spiders, or killing them. Since there's no men in our house right now (aside from James) I do all the spider killing and/or trapping with no problems whatsoever. But killing one with my face? No. Thank. You.
Although I do feel sort of badass though. What did you do today? Oh nothing, you know, just killed. . . with my face.
Needless to say I will be buying new towels today. Non-spider-camouflaging towels.
2 comments:
Since it was unintential, no pre-meditation, does that make it spider-slaughter?
Killing with your face does make you pretty bad ass, though I don't recommend trying it again. Like the next time there's an ant problem on the kitchen counters...
Nice! Spider death face.
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