Three minutes later - there's vagina in my face.
It looked like this, but without the bikini:
As a side note, if I ever had made any "home videos" which I'm not saying I did, I'm not a whore (Not that being sexually open enough to make a video makes you the same as a dirty slut willing to suck dick for coke or anything, I'm sure many married people with good wholesome morals that make sexy videos to spice things up when the kids go to sleep, and that's ok with me, you want to put a strap-on on and do your husband while watching reruns of I Love Lucy because you like Desi's accent, you go right ahead, who am I to judge?) I would have destroyed them and all video equipment and computers within a ten mile radius in an exploding ball of a gasoline-lit fire because I'm pretty sure Mr. B would find them and spread them to the rest of our friends in a mass email with the subject reading: "Amy. Naked."
It's not a very clever title, but in this dream, Mr. B gets right to the point.
Anyway, he's that good at finding things. And Britney was very normal in the downstairs which I was glad to see. Alex was also glad, and so was A2, and Becky, and Justine, and Grady, and Harry, and anyone else I made look at it.
Why she was so spread out and unaware her hoo-ha was exposed to cameras three feet away from her makes no sense. I feel it when someone looks in that general direction from across the room while I'm fully clothed. But if she wants to get flashy with the paparazzi, let her. It gives Mr. B something to do, and makes my day a little spicier.
5 comments:
It WAS very normal, wasn't it? I kept trying to make it weird - with the awkward lips and all, but you explained that away - that it was just her positioning on the seat. I love Mr. Belson for get that footage to you and I love you for sharing it with me. And why the hell haven't you shown me your high school friend doing anal porn?! Yes please!
Is it because I'm married and not-so-spicy that you don't share Britney's very normal hoo-haa and your friend's anal porn with me?
*sniff*
Everyone could use a good look at a normal hoo-haa now and then, y'know! Not that I'm saying I spend my time looking at abnormal ones. Or that I spend a great deal of time looking at hoo haas in general. In fact, I don't really know what I'm saying.
I just felt left out.
What is a normal hoo-ha? You know I am willing to sacrifice my good Christian faith and my morals to take part in a purely educational study of the hoo-ha.
I do require that the original poster and people who replied before me take a snapshot of their hoo-ha and send them to me for furthet analysis.
Thank you for contributing to the research of the National Normal Hoo-ha Association.
This is where I get to make things really awkward...
Hmmmmmm..
No need to make things awkward, you are allowed to send in your Hoo-ha too for grading purposes as well.
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